Expert Verified

Amanda Foster — Reviewed writer, former magazine editor

Approved Guide

How to Support an Emotionally Unstable Person with Patience and Care

Supporting an emotionally unstable person can be a challenging journey that requires a delicate balance of empathy and firm boundaries. When a loved one experiences intense mood swings or emotional volatility, it is easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure of the right words to say. The goal is not to 'fix' the person—as that is the role of a professional—but to provide a safe, consistent environment where they feel heard and supported. By learning how to support an emotionally unstable person effectively, you can help them navigate their turmoil while protecting your own mental well-being.

Link copied to clipboard!

Part 1

Express your concerns to the person.

Open up a conversation by describing the behavior you’ve observed.

It can feel hard to start a conversation about mental health with someone, but when you use “I” statements, you can talk about your concerns without making the person feel blamed or judged.

It can feel hard to start a conversation about mental health with someone, but when you use “I” statements, you can talk about your concerns without making the person feel blamed or judged.
It can feel hard to start a conversation about mental health with someone, but when you use “I” statements, you can talk about your concerns without making the person feel blamed or judged.
It can feel hard to start a conversation about mental health with someone, but when you use “I” statements, you can talk about your concerns without making the person feel blamed or judged.
It can feel hard to start a conversation about mental health with someone, but when you use “I” statements, you can talk about your concerns without making the person feel blamed or judged.
It can feel hard to start a conversation about mental health with someone, but when you use “I” statements, you can talk about your concerns without making the person feel blamed or judged.

Part 2

Ask open-ended questions.

Start your questions with a word like “how,” “what,” or “why.”

By asking questions that allow the person to respond with more than a “yes” or “no,” you gain a better understanding of that person’s situation and show them you care about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

By asking questions that allow the person to respond with more than a “yes” or “no,” you gain a better understanding of that person’s situation and show them you care about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
By asking questions that allow the person to respond with more than a “yes” or “no,” you gain a better understanding of that person’s situation and show them you care about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
By asking questions that allow the person to respond with more than a “yes” or “no,” you gain a better understanding of that person’s situation and show them you care about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
By asking questions that allow the person to respond with more than a “yes” or “no,” you gain a better understanding of that person’s situation and show them you care about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
By asking questions that allow the person to respond with more than a “yes” or “no,” you gain a better understanding of that person’s situation and show them you care about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Part 3

Listen more often than you speak.

Practice active listening to make the person feel heard.

When you actively listen, you give your full attention to the speaker and engage with what they say. From time to time, you can summarize what the person is saying and encourage them to go on.

When you actively listen, you give your full attention to the speaker and engage with what they say.
From time to time, you can summarize what the person is saying and encourage them to go on.
When you actively listen, you give your full attention to the speaker and engage with what they say.
From time to time, you can summarize what the person is saying and encourage them to go on.
When you actively listen, you give your full attention to the speaker and engage with what they say.

Part 4

Acknowledge the other person’s emotions.

By telling someone their feelings are valid, you’ll create connection.

Oftentimes, people think that supporting someone’s feelings will reinforce negative emotions or make the situation worse. In fact, by affirming someone’s feelings, you can encourage communication and make them feel understood! That type of connection can go a long way in improving the situation.

Oftentimes, people think that supporting someone’s feelings will reinforce negative emotions or make the situation worse.
In fact, by affirming someone’s feelings, you can encourage communication and make them feel understood!
That type of connection can go a long way in improving the situation.
Oftentimes, people think that supporting someone’s feelings will reinforce negative emotions or make the situation worse.
In fact, by affirming someone’s feelings, you can encourage communication and make them feel understood!

Part 5

Tell them you are there to support them.

Remind the person they’re not alone to help them feel more comfortable.

Struggling with mental health can feel scary and isolating, and the person might even feel like they’re burdening others by sharing their difficulties. By explicitly stating that you’re there to help and are on their side, you can de-escalate anger or suspicion while reinforcing that the person matters and has value.

Struggling with mental health can feel scary and isolating, and the person might even feel like they’re burdening others by sharing their difficulties.
By explicitly stating that you’re there to help and are on their side, you can de-escalate anger or suspicion while reinforcing that the person matters and has value.
Struggling with mental health can feel scary and isolating, and the person might even feel like they’re burdening others by sharing their difficulties.
By explicitly stating that you’re there to help and are on their side, you can de-escalate anger or suspicion while reinforcing that the person matters and has value.
Struggling with mental health can feel scary and isolating, and the person might even feel like they’re burdening others by sharing their difficulties.

Part 6

Guide the person to a mental health professional.

Explain how professional treatment can help.

Even though you’re doing your best to support and care for this person, only a mental health professional can truly help resolve any underlying issues. Let the person know that psychologists are trained and use scientifically-proven methods that can help them feel better.

Even though you’re doing your best to support and care for this person, only a mental health professional can truly help resolve any underlying issues.
Let the person know that psychologists are trained and use scientifically-proven methods that can help them feel better.
Even though you’re doing your best to support and care for this person, only a mental health professional can truly help resolve any underlying issues.
Let the person know that psychologists are trained and use scientifically-proven methods that can help them feel better.
Even though you’re doing your best to support and care for this person, only a mental health professional can truly help resolve any underlying issues.

Part 7

In any way you can, help them go to treatment.

Offer to drive or go along to appointments, or help pay the co-pay.

You can also offer to call their primary care physician for a referral to a psychologist. Even just sitting next to them to look up a psychologist through a workplace referral program or the internet might be helpful. However, since everyone likes to get support in different ways, you can always just ask what they’d like for help and be sure to respect their boundaries.

You can also offer to call their primary care physician for a referral to a psychologist.
Even just sitting next to them to look up a psychologist through a workplace referral program or the internet might be helpful.
However, since everyone likes to get support in different ways, you can always just ask what they’d like for help and be sure to respect their boundaries.
You can also offer to call their primary care physician for a referral to a psychologist.
Even just sitting next to them to look up a psychologist through a workplace referral program or the internet might be helpful.

Part 8

If possible, offer to help with daily tasks.

Assist with everyday tasks to help reduce this person’s stress.

If you can do the tasks together, you might also help that person feel less lonely, which is especially important since chronic stress and loneliness can worsen underlying mental health issues. Just make sure to look out for your own time and energy by picking tasks that feel reasonable to you and that you can commit to doing.

If you can do the tasks together, you might also help that person feel less lonely, which is especially important since chronic stress and loneliness can worsen underlying mental health issues.
Just make sure to look out for your own time and energy by picking tasks that feel reasonable to you and that you can commit to doing.
If you can do the tasks together, you might also help that person feel less lonely, which is especially important since chronic stress and loneliness can worsen underlying mental health issues.
Just make sure to look out for your own time and energy by picking tasks that feel reasonable to you and that you can commit to doing.
If you can do the tasks together, you might also help that person feel less lonely, which is especially important since chronic stress and loneliness can worsen underlying mental health issues.

Part 9

Watch out for

If you think the person might hurt themselves, get help immediately.

Call your national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline phone number for your country, such as 988 if you're in the United States or Canada (you can also text this number).

Call your national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline phone number for your country, such as 988 if you're in the United States or Canada (you can also text this number).
Call your national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline phone number for your country, such as 988 if you're in the United States or Canada (you can also text this number).
Call your national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline phone number for your country, such as 988 if you're in the United States or Canada (you can also text this number).
Call your national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline phone number for your country, such as 988 if you're in the United States or Canada (you can also text this number).
Call your national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline phone number for your country, such as 988 if you're in the United States or Canada (you can also text this number).

Part 10

Take care of yourself.

If you feel really overwhelmed, set boundaries.

Caring for someone dealing with mental health difficulties can be really tough. It’s okay to set limits on when you can talk, what you can talk about, and how you’d like the person to speak to you if they’re being disrespectful or abusive. Looking out for yourself will ultimately help you take better care of the other person!

Caring for someone dealing with mental health difficulties can be really tough.
It’s okay to set limits on when you can talk, what you can talk about, and how you’d like the person to speak to you if they’re being disrespectful or abusive.
Looking out for yourself will ultimately help you take better care of the other person!
Caring for someone dealing with mental health difficulties can be really tough.
It’s okay to set limits on when you can talk, what you can talk about, and how you’d like the person to speak to you if they’re being disrespectful or abusive.

Pro Tips

Keep a journal of your own feelings to process the emotional toll of supporting someone else.
Encourage the person to engage in grounding activities like walking, painting, or exercise to stabilize their mood.

Warnings

Do not attempt to act as the person's therapist; this can damage the relationship and delay professional treatment.
Avoid arguing with the person while they are in a highly emotional state, as logic is often inaccessible during a crisis.

Community Q&A

Q Can I force someone to go to therapy if they are emotionally unstable?

A No, you cannot force an adult into therapy, but you can set boundaries regarding your own relationship with them based on whether they are seeking help.

Q What is the difference between validation and agreement?

A Validation is acknowledging that a person's feeling is real and understandable given their perspective; agreement is confirming that their interpretation of the facts is correct.

References

Was this guide helpful?

17 people found this helpful

HowDadDo Around the World

🇨🇳 中文 🇪🇸 Español 🇮🇳 हिन्दी 🇸🇦 العربية 🇫🇷 Français 🇧🇷 Português

Subscribe to the HowDadDo Newsletter

Get expert tips, weekly how-to guides, and dad wisdom delivered straight to your inbox. No spam, just good stuff.

Help us build the world's best
dad manual.

Every guide on HowDadDo is written and fact-checked by real people — no AI-generated fluff. Join our community of experts helping dads figure life out.

Write a Guide Browse Guides