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Amanda Foster — Reviewed writer, former magazine editor

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How to Handle Be Self Motivated Step by Step

When be self motivated leaves you confused, worried, or unsure what it means, a clear step-by-step approach can help you sort the signal from the stress. This guide explains how to understand the situation, reflect on what matters, choose a practical next step, and know when to ask for trusted support.

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Part 1

Getting in the Mindset

Get positive

. It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, "Ugh, life sucks and it's raining." Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out. You can't do that! Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place.

It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, "Ugh, life sucks and it's raining." Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out.
You can't do that!
Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place.
It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, "Ugh, life sucks and it's raining." Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out.
You can't do that!

Get confident.

With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you. If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task. Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do? Exactly. You won't.

With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you.
If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task.
Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do?
With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you.
If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task.

Get hungry.

When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, "You got to be hungry!" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it. You can't imagine a life without it. Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere. Want it. If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself?

When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, "You got to be hungry!" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it.
You can't imagine a life without it.
Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere.
If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself?
When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, "You got to be hungry!" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it.

Know setbacks will happen.

It's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, having an all-or-nothing mentality will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up. It can even make it harder to get started in the first place. Tell yourself that there will be times when you fail, and that's okay. You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will.

It's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way.
According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, having an all-or-nothing mentality will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up.
It can even make it harder to get started in the first place.
Tell yourself that there will be times when you fail, and that's okay.
You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will.

Part 2

Developing Momentum

Focus on positive goals.

It's simple to know what we don't want. It's simple to know what we're afraid of. Often it's harder to pinpoint what exactly would make us happy and what exactly we're striving for. However, to get anything done, we have to start thinking with positive goals, not negative fears. Instead of "I don't want to be poor," a better goal is "I'd like to save X amount of money each month." See how the latter is much, much more doable? And less scary!

It's simple to know what we don't want.
It's simple to know what we're afraid of.
Often it's harder to pinpoint what exactly would make us happy and what exactly we're striving for.
However, to get anything done, we have to start thinking with positive goals, not negative fears.
Instead of "I don't want to be poor," a better goal is "I'd like to save X amount of money each month." See how the latter is much, much more doable?

Keep it small.

Having lofty goals is tough. Instead of trying to change your whole life all at once, certified life coach Sydney Axelrod suggests making small shifts that will help you reach your goals. Break each goal down into a series of actionable steps that you can actually achieve. Then, keep making progress—you may be surprised how quickly you're able to see a difference in your life.

Having lofty goals is tough.
Instead of trying to change your whole life all at once, certified life coach Sydney Axelrod suggests making small shifts that will help you reach your goals.
Break each goal down into a series of actionable steps that you can actually achieve.
Then, keep making progress—you may be surprised how quickly you're able to see a difference in your life.
Having lofty goals is tough.

Track your progress.

Since the dawn of time, humans have searched for purpose and direction. And this doesn't just have to do with existentialism -- we seek purpose in our jobs, relationships, and even hobbies. If something is unfulfilling, we don't do it. So whether you're losing weight, working overtime, or studying for college, track what you're doing! This will give you drive and show you the positive outcomes of your behavior. It will give you purpose.

Since the dawn of time, humans have searched for purpose and direction.
And this doesn't just have to do with existentialism -- we seek purpose in our jobs, relationships, and even hobbies.
If something is unfulfilling, we don't do it.
So whether you're losing weight, working overtime, or studying for college, track what you're doing!
This will give you drive and show you the positive outcomes of your behavior.

Take breaks.

We are not machines (but even machines need breaks). Studies have shown that students who take breaks are more effective at studying. And it's common knowledge that our muscles need breaks, too. Breaks aren't for the lazy -- they're for those that know they want to keep going.

We are not machines (but even machines need breaks).
Studies have shown that students who take breaks are more effective at studying.
And it's common knowledge that our muscles need breaks, too.
Breaks aren't for the lazy -- they're for those that know they want to keep going.
We are not machines (but even machines need breaks).

Do what you enjoy.

Most of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed. These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible. If you don't enjoy it, it may be there forever.

Most of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed.
These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible.
If you don't enjoy it, it may be there forever.
Most of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed.
These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible.

Use rewards.

This is a point to be considered carefully. The last thing you want to do is to associate everything with a Snickers bar. However, rewards can be powerful when used sparingly and efficiently. When you've completed something, be sure to do something you deserve!

This is a point to be considered carefully.
The last thing you want to do is to associate everything with a Snickers bar.
However, rewards can be powerful when used sparingly and efficiently.
When you've completed something, be sure to do something you deserve!
This is a point to be considered carefully.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes.

In order to find the best way of achieving something, we often have to do things we've never done before. Mistakes will happen if you're growing and getting better. You can X them off your list of possibilities and narrow your path to action down from there. Technically, mistakes are a good thing. At the very least they serve a purpose.

In order to find the best way of achieving something, we often have to do things we've never done before.
Mistakes will happen if you're growing and getting better.
You can X them off your list of possibilities and narrow your path to action down from there.
Technically, mistakes are a good thing.
At the very least they serve a purpose.

Part 3

Staying on Track

Keep motivators around you.

This one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going. These can be people or things -- whatever might keep you in the right mindset. It's natural to get off-balance and forget where we want to be -- these external motivators offer focus and direction. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, affirmations and mantras are other great ways to support and motivate yourself.

This one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going.
These can be people or things -- whatever might keep you in the right mindset.
It's natural to get off-balance and forget where we want to be -- these external motivators offer focus and direction.
According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, affirmations and mantras are other great ways to support and motivate yourself.
This one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going.

Keep good company.

Unfortunately, people can also be demotivating. We have that friend that desperately wants us to eat another piece of cheesecake. That person is not good company. To get going on our path to success, everyone needs cheerleaders along the way! Tell your friends and family what you're trying to stay motivated with. Do you have a few close people in your network that can help you focus and stay driven?

Unfortunately, people can also be demotivating.
We have that friend that desperately wants us to eat another piece of cheesecake.
That person is not good company.
To get going on our path to success, everyone needs cheerleaders along the way!
Tell your friends and family what you're trying to stay motivated with.

Keep learning.

As you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention. To avoid all these pitfalls, keep learning! Spice it up! It's hard to stay motivated on anything long-term. But if the goal keeps changing, if your knowledge keeps morphing, it'll be easier.

As you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention.
To avoid all these pitfalls, keep learning!
It's hard to stay motivated on anything long-term.
But if the goal keeps changing, if your knowledge keeps morphing, it'll be easier.
As you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention.

Only compare you to you.

The best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others. You'll never be them and they'll never be you, so what's the point? Though you've heard it a billion times before, it bears repeating: the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self. It's only if you've improved that matters; not how anyone else is doing.

The best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others.
You'll never be them and they'll never be you, so what's the point?
Though you've heard it a billion times before, it bears repeating: the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self.
It's only if you've improved that matters; not how anyone else is doing.
The best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others.

Help others.

When you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way. Use this knowledge to help others! Not only will it motivate you, but it will motivate them. Don't you wish you had someone to help you along your way?

When you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way.
Use this knowledge to help others!
Not only will it motivate you, but it will motivate them.
Don't you wish you had someone to help you along your way?
When you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way.

Set larger goals.

Once you start hitting those small goals, there's nowhere to go but up! Start looking at the big picture -- focus on the end game. No more baby steps; it's time for the big leagues. Talk about motivation! You can practically start making the itinerary for Hawaii now! And you'll fit in that swimsuit, too!

Once you start hitting those small goals, there's nowhere to go but up!
Start looking at the big picture -- focus on the end game.
No more baby steps; it's time for the big leagues.
Talk about motivation!
You can practically start making the itinerary for Hawaii now!

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